My First Blog Post

Personal Blog

Turn your wounds into wisdom.

Oprah Winfrey.

My personal blog is all about being real and expressing my inner thoughts and experiences. It will explore a lot of dark poetry and stories written by me based on life experiences that people may relate to. I will also talk about about other interesting books reviews, movie/series reviews etc.

This is my first post on my new blog. To know more about turning wounds into wisdom, stay tuned and subscribe to get notified when I post again.

Worthlessness

Feeling of self loath

feeling worthless

feeling helpless

this worthlessness, 

this misery becomes your shadow

its like a parasite not leaving you be

sucking everything out

most importantly your happiness and time.

Don’t let it succeed as the parasite will die because its not immortal 

so don’t let it win

its enemy is resistance

once you give in it wins

resist it and bear with it

let it pain

let it hurt it can’t kill you so do what you have to

but don’t give in.

Written by: Ayesha Khosla

Image credits: https://www.betterhelp.com/advice/pessimism/feeling-worthless-and-what-to-do-about-it/

Climbing from the fall

I climb and I fall,

in my mind, I fall.

But I have to climb

so I tell myself that I am

to keep me sane

that’s all i need

Suddenly life makes me fall!

it seems as natural as gravity

then it becomes harder to convince

my mind that I’m climbing

even though I’m falling

so i tell my mind that its alright to fall

but its like a stubborn child

it clings to the fall

which makes it harder to convince

so tell it stories

the stories that may be false

but its a start to a change

the stories become a blueprint

for reality to takeover

and

for happiness to flow

for me to spend less time convincing and more time doing

building something that will make the stories come true

maybe its right, maybe its wrong

it works for me that’s all i need.

Daydreaming

Mind constantly shifting

From reality to another realm- 

the realm of imaginations.

A situation better than reality.

Something ideal  

It’s like a drug

Soon,

It becomes an addiction

and it’s hard to snap out of.

But you have to

because it’s not reality.

Written by: Ayesha Khosla

Image credits: http://digitaledition.chicagotribune.com/tribune/article_popover.aspx?guid=925d8e6c-3054-4d34-bbae-5f553013637b

Confusion

Feeling of confusion

to why there is distress? 

why there is sadness?

Feeling the world against you,

unhappy with everyone.

Suddenly you fall,

and you keep falling.

In that moment you are happy;

and you are free, 

from the shackles of heaviness,

from the weight of emotions;

that almost drowned you.

Soon the fall is over,

and the confusion is back

But now you are ready 

to start a new beginning…

Image credits: https://fineartamerica.com/featured/total-confusion-tamra-davisson.html

Written by: Ayesha Khosla

'Sole Survivor' by Derek Hansen- book review

A book review: Sole Survivor

This is a rather old book dating back to 1997. It was lying in my grandmother’s room for the longest time so I decided to give it a read.
I ascertained it to be a very moving novel about tenacity, survival, love and friction; though it was a bit overstretched towards the end.

The ‘Sole Survivor’ explores the dreadful and permanent damages endured by a war refugee, on the Burma Railway. Living as a retired, yet free man, on the Great Barrier Island, Red O’Hara tries to cope as best as he can after numerous psychiatrists failed to rid him of the horrific wartime memory. All of a sudden, Red O’Hara gets the news of a women named Rosie wanting live at the Great Barrier: a place not meant for “women”. He doesn’t apprehend it well, initially, but later they both fall in love and she helps him get through with his mental trauma.

Written by: Ayesha Khosla

'The promise of India' by Jaimini Bhagwati a review

‘The Promise of India’ book review

This book gives an insightful, behind the scenes view on the post independence evolution of India through the workings of various Prime Ministers. Being a part of both the Ministry of External Affairs and the Ministry of finance, Jaimini Bhagwati provides an insiders lens on the role of India’s prime ministers in shaping India. According to Bhagwati, the prime ministers of India “have been responsible for uplifting and even soaring successes as well as depressing failures” after independence (1947).

From Nehru to Modi, ‘The Promise of India’, is a must read as it lifts the curtain, for the average citizens, to know about public policy that goes beyond the limited knowledge of the media.

I walked

I didn’t sleep because I couldn’t

I didn’t work because I couldn’t 

So I just walked the whole day 

Because I could 

I walked

Music blasting loud in my ears

But I became as deaf as they get

Because I was lost Deep in my thoughts

Taking a break from life 

To enjoy my wild thoughts

It helped me relax

And rewrite history in the world of my thoughts

It made me tired

And Rendered me to sleep.

Written by: Ayesha Khosla

The perfect picture

Painting a picture

Writing a story

For this perfect picture

Which will Never come to reality 

It’s the Truth 

And this truth is known

Yet the writing continues.

Everyday 

That story is written over and over again 

Changing the scenarios

But the characters remain the same

To entertain something

Something temporary

To make it permanent 

in a different world

In the world of this picture 

To see something happening exactly as wanted

And not hindered by the harsh reality.

This poem describes my inner inhibitions and how I try to cope with them.

Written by: Ayesha Khosla

Photo taken by: Ayesha Khosla

Pain

Pain is a shadow that covers your light.

 It deprives you of life.

It makes you cold as ice

Its too dark to erase.

Still you desire for it to diminish

For the divine light to shine

Instead you just drown

In the darkness of the shadow

Not daring to see

Not daring to feel

Not daring to deal with it

It pains

but you have to live with it.

Written by: Ayesha Khosla

Chasing


Anxiety is a monster

The monster is all I see

And Dread is all I know 

Spiralling down and down I go

In the midst of despair

Its going to come 

Its going to come

It will  race behind me

And I won’t be able run

I will lose

For its fast

And when it comes

I’ll break 

Left torn to pieces

So small 

Smaller than existence itself 

The chase 

The fear 

The falling

will never stop!

For when the pieces are fixed

It will come 

And break me again…

Image credits: https://picsart.com/i/image-horror-forest-dark-slenderman-creepypasta-239477757019202

Written by: Ayesha Khosla