I remember the first time I saw him,

Just standing with his pals,

Chuckling on juvenile jokes without a care,

He was far from perfection, 

But still beckoned me to him, 

Like a moth drawn to flame, 

He was sheer torture to watch, 

A friendship maneuvered towards love. 

I knew, I was a gone game when I set my gaze on him, 

A walking greek god, 

His eyes so intense that I could get lost in them forever,

Voice so alluring that he could talk for hours and hours,

But I would still be left dumbstruck.

My senses were ruptured, 

I was mesmerized by him.  

The boldness in his walk, 

The sarcastic comebacks that left me with an open mouth,

The arrogance that oozed out of him in waves, 

The way his eyes crinkled when he laughed, 

Or how they squinted with anger brewing a storm inside them. 

He was a walking time bomb. 

And I was not the one going to set it off. 

What had started as a mere infatuation,

Had become a full-blown affair. 

The dark-eyed boy had captured my heart, unknowingly. 

But there was a twist in fate, 

He belonged to another,

I was a victim of unrequited love, 

And suddenly I was repulsed by the fondness, 

I pridefully carried for him. 

I was in a reverie, 

Whether to go with the flow, as he said;

Or to do what was right, 

And not be the “other” girl. 

Temptations won, 

And I met him halfway to connect my lips to his. 

Butterflies flew in the pit of my stomach, 

Fireworks exploded in my brain, 

And sparks erupted where he touched me. 

Lust had overthrown rationality, 

His touch arose a fire,

That wouldn’t see reasoning of what’s right and wrong, 

If being perplexed was a mental disorder,

I would be in an institution;

Because that one boy whose dark eyes seem to tone down to the lightest brown, 

When the lustrous sun rays hit them, 

Had left me confused; 

Propelled me into a world of if’s and what’s, 

But I was thrown back into reality,

The thought of certain doom my heart would face terrified me, 

I receded into a black void of pins and needles,  

Cause heartbreak was one incurable disease, 

That had no remedy, 

Which tortured till death do us apart. 

Mulling over had become a daily chore, 

And envy gripped my core when I saw them together, 

What had I gotten myself into? 

What had I become? 

An empty, vile vessel of treachery? 

Love had changed me for the very worse, 

This wasn’t me, 

Surrounded by many, 

Yet, I still felt alone. 

Dreaming days were officially over,

And I was hit by a gut wrenching punch, 

A punch of bitter truth,

That showed me that deceiving someone is not in my blood, 

Made me see the actuality of the situation through my friends view, 

And suddenly it was all over… 

Image credits: https://www.flickr.com/photos/19787482@N04/6866292171

Written by: Ashima Chaudhary

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